It's the end of 2023 (already??!! What??) and this year has been...unexpected.

One of my goals set before the year began was to reach Master 10 Farming in Black Desert Online (spoiler alert - it didn't happen!). Sounds like bad news, but actually it's not that bad.

Early in January I got tired of my oldest child complaining about ads in his games (and to be fair - they've gotten REALLY annoying lately). I decided to try and make a game for him - so he could stop complaining about ads, and maybe stop downloading so many games? This started the rabbit hole of learning coding.

My first steps into this rabbit hole were in Roblox - using their coding language Lua-u (or just Luau for lazy peeps like me). I started with ZERO knowledge about coding - syntax, rules, limitations, limitless potential, etc. For a while it felt like what I really wanted was to be able to Google something and have someone tell me how to do what I wanted to do. After a lot of frustration, I learned that's just not how coding works.

There are no set formulas for doing things - such as creating an inventory system, or fishing system, or farming system....or anything really. Sure, some people share their code, but there's not a lot out there that tells you how to tie in methods from multiple people together and make it work and the different functions talk nicely to each other. That requires some flexible thinking, a skill that, thankfully, can be learned.

I also learned how overwhelming a game editor can be. Anyone who's downloaded Roblox on their PC knows it comes with Roblox Studio, so it's easy to get started creating your own Roblox game. For a complete beginner though, the editor can be downright frightening. There's just...so much, all at your fingertips. Roblox does have decent enging documentation, but you still need have to figure a lot out on your own.

Skip ahead a couple months - not only do I NOT have a game for my child to play, but I was feeling bored at work, and just happened to receive an email from HR reminding us our company sponsors LinkedIn Learning subscriptions for employees. Well, isn't that interesting. Follow the instructions, and I suddenly have access to...a LOT of learning potential. Where do I start?

Coding, of course. A few courses to understand the basics of coding - with Python as the focus. Which led to a learning path, which led to another learning path...LOTS of learning. This kept me happy for a while, but now Roblox is on the backburner as part of my Python Learning included creating a quiz application. Very basic and kind of boring...but the potential! I didn't like the interface - text based, boring, easy to get confused. But what if I could change that?

Well, Python 3 does have some libraries for creating a GUI. There was a learning course for TKinter, so...away I went. It has it's limitations, and it's not really meant for games, but...it could work.

Many hours of experimenting, learning, groaning and complaining later...and I finally understood TKinter, and it's limitations. I had to rethink how I wanted to make things happen...but I was making good progress (still not done though).

Then summer was coming and...life happened. And not the best of things either - the ugly kind that takes a huge toll on your mental health. The good news though - my oldest child was officially diagnosed with ADHD, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and a new learning journey began. I needed mental health help, social support, and some major boundary setting. Thankfully, I had access to all of these, and managed to not only survive, but also thrive a little.

Some people can get through every day with a cup of coffee and social stimulation to keep them going. I am not one of those people - the smell of coffee makes me nauseous, and social situations are draining for me. Also, being a mom of 3 young kids, the oldest being 6 (at the time) and the youngest being 2 meant one thing - I'm always tired. And I get it, raising young kids is hard, but I'm literally ALWAYS tired. Could have a nap and still be tired. Sleep until 10 (if the kids let me) and still be tired. Tired of always being tired. Well, complain often enough and eventually someone will take you seriously. In this case, my family physician didn't blow me off this time - we started me on ADHD meds, and ordered a sleep study.

Meds can be scary - but they are a tool to help you function. In my case, meds were definitely an important part of my mental health puzzle - that first week on this new medication and I was AMAZED at how much easier it was to just function. Like, people actually wake up and feel...awake? Alert? They can drive to work without feeling like they're falling asleep behind the wheel? Also, the clarity of everything! So much easier to focus on a task I don't want to do, and actually get it done! I wasn't the only one that noticed a change with meds - my oldest, who was having problems regulating his emotions, was doing much better at communicating his needs to the adults around him. He went from flipping his lid multiple times a day, to less than once a week. Seeing his improvement made me a proud mama, and gave me more energy to continue learning.

Feeling motivated, I begin searching for a new career path - one in video games. At some point I came across the Indie Game Academy, and actually joined some events. I even participated in their Level 1 class, this one learning to make a motocross game in Unity (this is project number 3 for the year, also not done!). I met some good people, and now had access to some awesome resources. However...while I want to make video games, I don't have the confidence to make anything good, and if you hadn't noticed, I start a lot of things but don't seem to finish them. I did, however, participate in a Game Jam, and spent an entire month learning in Godot. The game was nowhere near what I wanted it to be, and I really was feeling disappointment in myself.

There's a lot to learn though. Scope creep is a real monster - and that seems to be my number 1 problem. ADHD wasn't helping, but there are methods for coping. Draw.io was introduced to me during the Level 1 Indie Game Academy class, and it's definitely helpful. Paper and pencil too, so I can jot down my ideas to keep for later, but still return my focus to the task at hand. Also, a quote: "The first 10 games you make are going to suck. So get them out of the way." It hurts, but is also strangely motivating.

Ok, so I have 2 crappy games "done" - one from the Game Jam as mentioned earlier, but also an idea I had during one of the Discord Events I attended - a little 1 minute game I named Dress the Toddler. It's ugly, but mostly functions, and my number one problem with it is - scope creep. I have big plans for this little 1 minute game, and not enough experience to put them all together...yet. Scale it down - the hardest thing to do, but most important if you're actually going to build a portfolio and not just play around.

I enjoy learning and making games, but if anyone's been watching - not only is the industry hard to get into, but the massive amount of layoffs is disheartening and reveals a dark truth - employment as a developer isn't steady. There's also a lot of stress involved, especially when you want to make enough money to earn a living as even an Indie developer. Not really what I need at this stage in my life. So, what do I really want?

Funny thing...something I learned, or rather, discovered I wanted to learn before continuing to make games - technology. How do you prevent players from modifying game files? How do you make a game work on PC? Mobile? Why does the same code work sometimes in one browser, but not in another? I also discovered...taking things apart is fun. Too much fun - I dismantled the bottom of my laptop just to see a few things (reassembled fine!) and took about my graphics card to find out why it was overheating. Yeah - the thermal pads were literally disintegrating. At least I got a new graphics card though!

At work, my coworkers joke around that I'm the unofficial local IT for our clinic. Solving minor problems that don't need escalating to the remote-working IT team? Pretty fun, and fulfilling. Huh. I could learn a lot in this field. Looking at job postings, one thing stood out - A+ certification. Sounds scary, but I looked it up anyway. There are actually several certifcations CompTIA offers, and A+ is just one on the path. Most people skip ITF+, but considering my lack of experience as an official IT tech, I went for it. LinkedIn Learning had a learning path, so I watched the videos, scheduled an exam....and passed! Though it was a humbling experience, as I barely passed, and many of the questions I was definitely not confident with.

Ok, so I have the first step, ITF+. Next, learning path for the A+ exam...and investing in the massive textbook that doubles as a study guide/on the job reference. Gotta admit, when it came in the mail I gave my brand new textbook a hug.

Anyone following me on LinkedIn will realize this isnt' the only learning I've been doing - I've also completed an SQL course, and some HTML courses. They might not all seem connected, but in my mind all of these skills will help me create my own path in video games, while also keeping open to other opportunities as an IT tech, or even data analysis.

Whew, that was a long journey! While not my goal at the beginning of the year, 2023 was filled with learning - career wise, and personal growth wise. With learning as my focus, I now have the ability to set goals for myself in 2024!

As I complete projects and learn more, I can adjust my timellines accordingly. My family and my mental health are most important, so if I don't meet a deadline - I will forgive myself. 2023 was hard, but there were some important lessons learned. I don't want to forget them moving foward.

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